Let’s Talk Hair.

Growing up...

So I have been natural since 2013 when I entered college. Even went through the ugly transition phase of cutting all my perm/processed hair out and embracing my natural curls. Prior to college, I wouldn’t say I was raised to believe that my natural hair was beautiful. I was raised in a predominantly white community and I have 2 sisters who have even more hair than me. It was easy for my mother to throw a perm in our hair and keep it moving because we have A LOT of hair. I never really thought about it until I looked at all my old “special occasion” photos. I realized I was trained to think that straightening my hair for picture day, graduation, or prom that those styles would make me look prettier, groomed, sophisticated.

Going to work...

I will never forget the first time I wore braids to work. It was SCARY. I literally ran into my co-worker office (who was bi-racial phillipino/black) to ask her if my braids looked “ghetto” and if I should take them out. I was scared because I was the only fully black female in my office and had not seen anyone else prior to me wear braids. When I first started interviewing for jobs out of college I instantly chose to have a full sew-in installed with straight weave for my interviews. I had been offered the job with one style and showed up Day 1 with a bleach blonde afro. I felt like a fraud. I even I tried to hide my wild curls in tight uncomfortable buns. On the days I would wear my afro out I had suspicion that it wasn’t accepted by my peers but I blamed my paranoia. I dyed my hair black a month into the role and It wasn’t until 2 years into my job did the company hire another African American female into my operation. THE JIG WAS UP! I literally couldn’t believe the comments I heard from my non-ethnic coworkers. My new black co-worker unfortunately had been recovering from alopecia treatments and wore wigs 95% of the time. The comments I overheard were disgusting. “I’m glad she went back to that other hairstyle, the curly one was just unprofessional”. My reply: “How so?” At that point they knew I wasn’t the one to agree! While this happened, I can confess it wasn't the overall consensus of the group. I definitely had co-workers who were allies and compliments were genuine but I also knew that some of my hair styles made them very uncomfortable and sometimes they would comment on my hair just to address what I could tell for them was an elephant in the room.

See the issue is not my hair or any woman's hair. The issue is the fear that I couldn’t be my natural black self in the workplace (We will discuss code-switching another day). Black women are very much defined by their hairstyles in the workplace. Oftentimes refraining from wearing their natural hair or styles that could potentially hinder their opportunity to advance. We have to think about things the average peer doesn’t.

Getting out of their mindset…

It took me a while to un-grip my mind from conforming to their potential beliefs that my hair was unkempt or not beautiful. I’m not sure that it was all the other oppressive things going on in that work environment that made me break free from my own self conscious thoughts but I cut loose. In the most professional way…. I began to speak up. I didn't need anyone to have my back. I needed to have my own back for the black women who were to come after me. I then changed my hair every chance I could. Faux locs, braids, twist, afro, wigs, and weave… and I did it all unapologetically.

Lesson learned/TIP: Moving forward I will wear my natural afro to interviews. If a company or manager believes that my natural hair defines my ability to the job, intelligence, or my professional demeanor… That is not a place or person I want to work for.

How to be a Ally to the Black Hair Community

1. Dismiss accusations of unprofessionalism at the reason of hair.

2. Give genuine compliments. As your mother would say, If you don't like the hairstyle, don't say anything at all.

3. Don’t be scared to ask questions. Some people get annoyed with non-AA (African Americans) asking hair questions but it is an opportunity to give people insight on what we go through as black women. (My co-workers jaws dropped when I let them know I spent X amount of money on faux locs for 9 hours of sit-time: Respect is created)

4. Always ask before you touch ANYONES’ hair :)